Friday, August 31, 2012

The Sin Eaters


I saw "The Bourne Legacy." It was OK. I missed Mr. Damon.

There's an interesting part in it, where he talks about sin eaters. Which relates to something I'm working on that has to do with sin.

On Tuesday, I'll be talking to a priest and see what he has to say about sin and those who eat it.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Cupcakes


Yesterday, I went to exercise my journalism skills by covering a cupcake story. You can read about my good time here: "A Cupcake ATM Dispenses Love."

I was sort of ambivalent about doing this story. I mean, it's not porn journalism.

I wondered if doing it made me a pussy, or if I was getting soft, or what else I could ask someone who was trying to use a cupcake ATM.

But I think it came out, well, cute. I like the photos, particularly the one of the dog.

Last night I told my husband that it's all about repeating. Do it over and over and over again, until you can do it with your eyes closed.

[READ]

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Chihuahua


Chihuahua, Norfolk, Virginia

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The Man in the Moon


Check out Lydia Netzer's awesome New York Times op-ed, "The Man in the Moon":
Except for the one that involved landing on the Moon. When a human went and stood on the Moon and looked back at the Earth, that was a different kind of breakthrough. Nothing tangible changed when Neil Armstrong’s foot dug into the lunar dust and his eyes turned back at us. We didn’t get faster wheels or smaller machines or more effective medicine. But we changed, fundamentally. What had been unknown, was known. What had been unseen was seen. And our human horizon popped out 200,000 miles. Forever, we would see the Earth differently, because we had seen it from someplace truly foreign.
[READ]

Monday, August 27, 2012

I get comments

This article is utter drivel. Writing is a skill like any other, it can be honed with practice. It is not always fun or easy or forthcoming, it’s work just like all work. And there are many ways to be a good writer. Someone might have skills at constructing a gripping narrative, and still struggle with the prose on a sentence level. Another writer might create elegant lyric prose, wich seems lovely for a while, but has a tendency to meander and never seems to arrive at any given point. Some writers are funny. Some writers have a flair for ambiance. The key to success is knowing one’s own strengths and using them to the advantage, and working to strengthen one’s weaknesses.

Besides wich, it’s a well understood fact that good writing does not always equal commercial or marketable writing. In fact, many of the books on the NY Times best seller list don’t really qualify as “Good” in an academic sense of the word. Does that mean they’re bad? Yes, but bad-in-the-best-way is often better then good, and certainly more profitable, at the very least.

But don’t get me wrong, it’s not easy. There is room for cautionary tales… but Lori Moore did it better. Less mean spirited, more humor, more honesty. But then again, she’s Lori Moore

@ Susannah Breslin: I’m honestly impressed that you have the audacity to say in an open letter to the public, where even you’re favorite writer of all time might stumble across your article and read the encouraging words: “Most people cannot write well, and that includes you, and what we can conclude from this is that the person we are talking about here who cannot write well is, in all likelihood, you.”

Well well well, that’s an awful bold thing to say, especially for someone who includes a link to her personal blog– where you post excerpts of your unpublished novel for all the world to read, and critique the questionable use of pronouns and self-conscious quirky style. So, “Congratulations on posting that blog post, finishing that manuscript, churning out that personal essay that is sitting on your desk, hard-drive, the internet. But,” maybe you should lay off the cautionary tales and the hate mail to new, young, and hopeful writers still in the process of “finding their voice” and focus on your own. Everyone will be better off, including you.
[IMAGE]

Friday, August 24, 2012

Excerpt


Here's an excerpt from my cancer novel-in-progress. I've written 40,049 words or 186 pages. The research for it is ongoing.
The wife had gone in for surgery on a gurney, and she had come out of surgery on a gurney. The wife who had come out of surgery on a gurney was different than the one that had entered the operating theater.

It came out drugged and said things that didn’t make sense and had a bandage on it. It slept on the sofa for hours, curled on itself, and it could no longer follow the husband if he said too many words too fast or if the idea was at all complicated, which it usually was.

Its hair was growing back, and it was exercising. It was trying to look like the wife that he had married again. It was unclear if this would work.

It was doing radiation. It had a tiny bull’s eye stuck with tape between its boobs. It had one boob that was bright red. It got tired a lot of the time. It tried, but it also failed.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Playboy


I interviewed the awesome Damon Brown about his new book, Playboy's Greatest Covers.
SB: Which cover is your favorite?

DB: Tough call, but I’d say the October 1971 issue featuring the nude African-American model in the white custom-made Playboy chair. From a composition standpoint, there is a great contrast between Darine Stern’s gorgeous dark brown skin and the chair’s stark Playboy ears. 
[READ]

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Agent


Mannequin Thinking, Chicago, Illinois

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I get email

Susannah I hope my exclamations got your attention since in your recent article "How to get people to click on your links" you proclaimed how you don't respect women especially those in power who use symbols to convey their message in a warm and fuzzy way. By now I would hope you would have guessed I'm a women ;) if not refer to my annoying winky face. Now Susannah I realize your job occupation condones that type of outspoken writing too you know grab people's attention and get a reaction, so for that congratulations you have successfully gotten a rise out of me. Now I agree with you too a point about not having to be a Marsha Brady of email using every symbol and emoticon their is too seem cheery and happy as all women are suppose to be right... But you might want to chose your words more wisely, saying you can't respect a women who uses them, this will not help you to receive any acclaim... it might get positive and negative reactions but no one will respect you more because of that opinion, because the fact of the matter is sometimes those little tedious symbols can make all the difference when it comes to getting what you need in the work world, supposed to a loud mouth know it all that no one wants to talk to or deal with in the work world. So it may be old fashion of me even though I am provably not old enough to use this phrase but here goes... Sugar and spice... makes everything nice. Now that was beyond corny but I hope I got my message across and which is you can't generalize something as broad as using symbols to deem someone inadequate to receive respect. You don't have to respect someone , but you also can't disrespect them. Anyhow I'd be surprised if you made it past line 3 since now I'm being a stereo typical women and rambling.

Hope your having a nice week
[redacted]

Monday, August 20, 2012

Buy this book

My friend Adam Penenberg has a new novel out called Virtually True, and it's about:
The murder of a friend.

Conspiracy on a global scale.

A near-future, dystopic world run by corporations, where nothing is as it seems and everything is part of something else. Technology and everyday life are inseparable, and information is a weapon that can save your life--or kill you.
It's awesome. Buy it

Friday, August 17, 2012

Hey, doll


I took this photo today when I was walking around downtown, but it reminds me of the prostitutes I saw in the windows in Amsterdam.

You have to wonder: What goes on in the minds of mannequins?

They never say.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Window girl


Window Girl, Chicago, Illinois

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

I get email

Will you marry me?
[IMAGE]

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Looking for a john


I'm looking for a john to interview for a book I'm working on. I'm looking for someone successful, in their thirties, forties, or fifties, who sees escorts regularly. Anonymous. Email me.

[IMAGE]

Monday, August 13, 2012

Help me


Here's why no one wants to help you:
Nobody wants to help you. Not with that project. Not with that idea. Not with that challenge.
Is it them … or is it you?
Here are five reasons why no one wants to help you, and five ways you can get them to help you.
[READ]

Friday, August 10, 2012

Smile


Porn Convention Mannequin, Chicago, Illinois

Thursday, August 9, 2012

This is cool


William Gibson tweeted a link to "The Porn Convention." He also included the hashtag "#pornstorm." Interesting.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

I get email


"...the person who would not give him a pass to let him do whatever he wanted, no matter the cost."
Who do you think you are? For a second there I was amazed that anyone would pay you to write, but then again, this is America and it is Forbes.
Congratulations on mastering non-sequitors and applying them to one of our most precious freedoms.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Hire Strawberry Saroyan

Random House Memoirist/New York Times Journalist Would Like to Edit Your Writing

Strawberry Saroyan has 20 years of experience writing for a living. She is the author of the Random House memoir, Girl Walks into a Bar, and has published features and covers in The New York Times Magazine, The New York Times, Elle, Details, Salon, and Vogue. Stories have been published on fivechapters.com and in Swink and Open City.

Now, she would like to edit for you. If it’s an article, essay, proposal, or book, she is available for line and copy edits, fundamental restructuring, and idea-generation. Emphasis on positive encouragement and being to the point.

Please email for details and rates: Saroyan@aol.com. Free 20 minute consult.

“Saroyan has the gift to find the profound in the ebb and flow of [life].” - School Library Journal

Monday, August 6, 2012

Sexy robots


Here's an article a guy I know wrote about fucking robots.

Enjoy, freaks.
So in the case of we Millennials and our immersion in a culture of Baby Boomer-fueled, post-60s, mainstreamed sex and pornography, what is it that we have dekhed and what will the backlash be as these new bizarre sex-simulators develop into full-blown digital, virtual sex?
[READ]

Friday, August 3, 2012

The top 10


Here are the all-time top 10 posts on my Forbes blog, if you're interested in that sort of thing.
  1. The Business About My Breasts (156,202 views)
  2. Adult director Max Hardcore released from prison (102,011 views)
  3. This Is Why Your Employees Hate You (90,220 views)
  4. How to Get Married (72,198 views)
  5. 9/11 Stories: 'No One Talks About That' (70,187 views)
  6. The Worst and Best Advice I've Ever Gotten (66,306 views)
  7. The Hardest Thing About Being A Male Porn Star (62,467 views)
  8. How to Get a Job If You're a Twentysomething Woman (61,585 views)
  9. Why I'm Unemployable (60,654 views)
  10. A Porn Star Book Is Selling with a Bespoke Twist (54,293 views)
[READ]

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Are you better at working or living?


I, for one, know the answer to that question.
Being a workaholic is a problem.
I work too hard, I stress too much, I put jobs ahead of things I shouldn’t.
I had a horrifying realization today: I am better at working than I am at living.
[READ, IMAGE]

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Porn star and fan


Porn star and fan, Chicago, Illinois