Friday, October 21, 2011
I used to update this blog more often -- well, that's not really the issue. The issue is what I update it with these days. Which, more often than not, is links to other stuff I'm doing elsewhere.
Mostly, this is because this has been something of a challenging year. And not necessarily in the sense of challenging as a metaphor for bad. It really has challenged me.
After I got downsized in January from my full-time job I a) freaked out b) figured out how to be full-time self-employed and c) moved. All those things were good things. Except for maybe the freaking out part. I could've done without the shingles.
One reason I find it challenging to blog here more personally more often is that most of my other work I do for money is content generation of one sort or the other. That means this becomes one more place that demands I generate content. And I'm sort of overwhelmed with content generation demands. Not overwhelmed, really. But my plate is full. Although, don't get me wrong, I have room for dessert.
And then when I'm not working on all that stuff, or obeying my therapist's demands that I cultivate a life outside of work (he is so demanding), I am working on my novel.
These are white people problems.
But I miss it. What I miss most about when I started blogging in 2002 was the sensation that I could do whatever I wanted. That's what I loved about it, probably more than anything else. And then blogging became something you could do for money, and thank God for that, but then it became more challenging, too, because it meant blogging was no longer synonymous with do whatever you want.
I love my Forbes blog, but it's hard, too. Because while I have a huge (obscene, really) amount of freedom there, I don't feel like I can do whatever I want. Although, in many ways I can. I can't quite figure out if it's all in my head or what.
I don't know what the point of this post is, but my guess is that it's not everything you do has to have a point. Not every story has to have a story. Not everything has to have a proper ending.