Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The Bobby Mundy Story

I get an email and it says it's from somebody named Bobby Mundy, but I don't know anybody named Bobby Mundy. I open it anyway. The email reads, You have a big butt huh? You are blessed. Most white women don’t have a booty. Would you happen to have a pic of it you could send me? I wonder if I've gotten this exact same email before. Because I swear I've gotten this exact same email before. Only maybe it was an email like this one, but different, but it's so fundamentally the same, what lies in the white spaces between the letters, that I just think it's the same letter. I swear I've gotten the same email every year for the last 13 years, since the first time I was on TV. I vow never to send Bobby Mundy or anyone like Bobby Mundy any photos ever. I hope Bobby Mundy searches Google Image search for hours, looking for that for which he seeks, and never finds it. I hope this knight-errant fails, that his walkabout never ends, that every time he looks down at his hands, he remembers all over again that he is empty-handed and his emails are why.