Wednesday, June 27, 2012


I keep wanting to write a post that's like, "Oh, I finished chemo," but I didn't know what to say. I felt like I got run over, and then re-run over, and then run over again just out of spite, and I was crabby. Stabby, really. Very, very irritable.

I didn't think it would be like this. I envisioned myself (actually envisioned!) dramatically weeping as my Yoda-like oncologist said, "You are done." But I didn't. Instead, I wept in the car on the way home out of fury, and I have been in a sour mood since.

Of course, it's not supposed to be this way. I'm supposed to be a happy fairy living life to the fullest!

I prefer Barbara Ehrenreich and a book she wrote: Bright-sided: How Positive Thinking Is Undermining America. It's about how she got diagnosed with breast cancer, and her response to it is nothing but nasty and ill-tempered.

My hero.

That said, I took one of the dogs for a walk today. It's very, very hot. This dog likes water. It is bred to like water. I make it go near the sprinklers and tell her to go ahead, and she sort of dances around in the water, the spray going all in her face and soaking her, coming back around to take gulps from it.

Side note: Do not fucking email me.