Friday, June 15, 2012


A lot of people hated "Prometheus," but I didn't.

Oh, by the way, I am going to discuss a spoiler here, so if you don't want a spoiler, stop reading.


Anyway, a decade and change ago, I used to be a film critic or something like it. I went to a lot of movies. I love movies. Particularly going to the movies. I like the whole overwhelming largeness and the submerging of you in it-ness. That's great.

When you write about movies, you have to remember all the facts, and get the stories straight, and one thing that's nice about watching movies now is that I don't have to do that anymore.

I think that's part of the trick of liking "Prometheus." It's like loving Quasimodo. It's flawed, but you love it anyway.

My absolute favorite scene in the movie is when the girl bones the dude, and the dude has the alien in him, so he ends up impregnating her with an alien. Or alien thing. Or whatever.

Then it starts growing fast, and of course she happens to be half-naked, and she runs around while you watch it trying to blast itself out of her belly.

It's super creepy.

But there's this machine thing there, like that sort of thing Michael Jackson used to sleep in so that he would be albino Peter Pan forever, and it performs surgery on you. So while she's got this thing trying to ram itself out of her gut, she starts pounding on the keys to tell the machine to give her an abortion. And it's all, "Sorry, I only do dudes, not abortions." It doesn't say that, but it says something sort of like that, and I love that because it says something about the difference between women and technology.

Anyway, she basically tells it that there's a foreign object in her midsection that needs removing, and she climbs into the machine, and then she basically watches while it gives her an abortion.

It is fucking fascinating. There's screeching, and blood flying, and a baby alien thing writhing, and one thing I love is the complete absence of maleness in it. Like, I don't know. For reasons I can't explain. Like this is the true the horror, the horror of womanhood.

Anyway, I think it's a lovely movie, and she's a superb final girl, and you should see it in 3D.