Thursday, June 16, 2011

I get email

Dearest Susannah - You seem quite easily surprised. We all have pubic hair, so why would anyone consider it offensive? We humans produce many substances, including pubic hair, that some may less fit for discussion in Forbes. May we soon be treated to discussions of the many textures and aromas produces by human feces? These are human universals as well. I wonder if the porn starlet in question had chosen to market her book with a personalized bookmark made from her used bathroom tissue, would you have found that a touch offensive? And speaking of tissues, let's not forget "facial" tissues, which we all know are used primarily as depositories for mucous, or in the vernacular...well you know the vernacular. Wouldn't a cover made from used and recycled facial and toilet tissue been a novelty? Imagine the joy a purchaser might receive from finding his own bit of freshly congealed bit of nasal mucous wiped personally on the flyleaf and sign by the "actress."

News flash! Susannah Breslin is not the arbiter of all things socially acceptable...nor is her editor. That we all have different tolerances for such things is a matter of diversity, is it not? If we all had the same tastes, the world would be a boring place would it not? If you find that concept surprising or amusing, then I am both surprised and amused...highly so.

Do you suffer from neck trouble? One suspects that your constant invitations to yank your chain would leave you with a severe case of whiplash.